Today, I am hurting! I hurt physically because arthritis has been causing me a good deal of discomfort over the last few days, and today, I’m hurting emotionally because a very dear friend is dealing with a relationship “hiatus”.
When something feels solid and right, but then ‘comes apart’ unexpectedly – it causes pain so deep, that nothing can take it away or ease it, the tearing of our heart renders us completely ineffectual..
It is hard to be a bystander, because all you want to do is ‘jump in’ and take the other persons hurt away. All you can realistically do is ‘be a shoulder to cry on’, be the one to reassure and say, “No, you have not been stupid, you have not been gullible”! Reassure by saying – ‘give it time’ – ‘cry’ – ‘rant!’. If you pray – then pray and ask God for relief from the gut-wrenching anguish you are feeling.
Be kind to yourself; you won’t feel like eating, talking, making decisions, cooking, cleaning, anything! It all takes too much energy to even try to think about! Curl up in a ball and bawl – if that’s what you feel like doing! A little pity-party is OK – you’ll know when it’s time to stop – if not, I’m sure there’ll be someone in your life that will be more than willing to tell you, ‘to get on with life’. They mean well and often don’t know what else to say, because they feel helpless.
Take a bath! Take a walk! Get out of the four walls that have now become an enclosure – and breathe in fresh air and watch people getting on with their lives, although that’ll feel surreal, because your hurt is so immense you’d really expect them to know about it and feel it too! But they don’t and won’t!
Little by little – the pain will diminish and you’ll begin to want to be productive again – yes, you will!
If you work – great – since that demands your full attention and commitment – it will take the focus off your inner pain!
If you have children, they will be your salvation because as a good parent, their needs will be thrust to the forefront, and your heartache will be placed ‘on the back burner’. They’ll help to “keep you going”.
If you are a God-living person then lean on Him for all you are worth – you’ll be given a strength that is beyond your understanding, and you will be sustained and comforted. If you are not – then I would be like to be the person to pray for you – leave me a message and ‘consider it done!’
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 147:3 He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.
And so, returning to my original theme – my arthritis pain pales in comparison to the suffering my dear friend is experiencing, however, we both need to ‘hang in there’ and look beyond where we are at – where even the smallest effort takes a lot of determination! Things do improve; it’s just that ‘in the moment’ it doesn’t feel like it will ever happen.
Blessings to you
References made by kind permission of my friend – who feels that her pain and recovery, might help somebody else!